Metamorphosis
by Winter Ashby
Summary: Liz has to cope with the changes she's going through. She is lost in a world she can't escape and the only one who can help her now is Michael. What will he do? How will he save her? What will happen to Liz? POLAR [Michael & Liz]
1. Blackness

**Title:** Metamorphosis  
**Author:** Winter Ashby _(rosweldrmr)_  
**Disclaimer:** Roswell © Jason Katims _(**If**... Roswell was mine. **Then**... Polar would be canon!)_**  
Rating: **T**  
Summary: **Liz has to cope with the changes she's going through. She is lost in a world she can't escape and the only one who can help her now is Michael. What will he do? How will he save her? What will happen to Liz? POLAR (Michael & Liz)  
**Timeline**: Post '_Max in the City_'.  
**Authors Notes: **Yes, I've finally worked up the courage to upload my very first multi-chapter Roswell fic. This is polar, this is slightly AU, and this is going to be about 12 chapters long. I hope you will enjoy!**  
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**Chapter One: Blackness**

Liz was sitting on the couch in the back room of the Crashdown. It had been hours since she saved Max's life. Michael watched as the small, frail, brunet had confessed her fear, but once again, saved the man she loved. He had taken special care to notice what her unique flavour of power tasted like in the air. _I want to remember the way her whole body vibrated with power, and the warm amber glow that was just fading from her eyes as they opened_. She had a horrified look in her eyes, as if there was something completely disgusting about what she had become. Michael had always trusted her, ever since he read her journal last year. But he could also tell that something had changed in her since she was away. Her delicate energy radiated from her tiny form and soaked the Crashdown in waves of anticipation.

As soon as she had come out from her dream-walking state, Isabel was on her, questioning her. She said that she saw him from across the street, and told him to get out of the way. Lonnie and Rath were about to drop a scaffolding on his head. Michael just leaned against the back wall and watched as a girl he had always known suddenly become much more to him. _She isn't just Liz anymore, not really. She's not human, she's one of us_. She was like him. He just folded his hands and pretended to be thinking about getting revenge. Isabel took special care to look at him and tell him not to do anything stupid. It didn't take long before Max called Isabel and told her what had happened. She told him about Liz and Ava.

Part of Michael was upset that Max could have been so stupid, so careless with his powers. _This means Kyle's gonna change like Liz_. This meant that he was going to have to protect more people, but it also meant that his family was growing. He stood, now leaning on the wall of the back room, in the dark, watching her breath in and out. He followed her when she left the front, and just watched as she began to rock herself on the couch, and wrap her arms around herself. She hadn't told him to leave, she hadn't asked him to stay. She just looked up at him and he knew that there was nothing he could say that was going to make this alright.

He should have been questioning Ava, asking how she knew so much, but he didn't care. _She isn't going anywhere_. The only person in the world who had shown her any kind of compassion was Liz, she wouldn't abandon her now. And when Liz was ready to know everything, Ava would be there to help her. Isabel cracked the back door, and looked into the darkness.

"Michael?" she whispered. He grunted and she turned her attention to the left. "Can I talk to you?"

"Yeah." His voice was heavy, thick. He hadn't spoken since he blew up part of the Crashdown. "I'll be there in a second." She nodded her blond head as the light from the front room bathed her face. Then she retreated back to the light, back to a world that would never exist again for Liz. _She will never be home, never be complete again; like me_.

"Liz?" again, his voice was thick and raspy. She stopped shaking and turned her red, puffy eyes to look at the outline of his form. She didn't respond. He didn't expect her to.

"I'll be right back." He spoke softly, and emotionless. _She was so small, so fragile_. And he was afraid that he'd leave and come back to find a broken shell of a girl he used to know. She nodded and he turned his back to the darkness and crossed over back into the real world. He felt like the green door was a portal to another world.

"Talk." He said nonchalantly as he walked to the counter and sat on a stool.

"What are you doing back there?" she asked, a little shocked that he was spending so much time, in the dark, with Liz.

"Nothing, why what are you doing out here?" he shot back with some anger in his voice. _It was none of her business what I'm doing_. It had nothing to do with her if he chose to watch out for her. That was he decision, and he didn't like explaining himself to her.

"I'm trying to get Ava to tell me what the hell is going on around here." She waved her arms through the air and sighed like it was a big gesture. He turned his stoic gaze to cover the tiny Tess-look-a-like. She was sitting in one of the booths drawing shapes in the sugar that she poured onto the table.

"What've you found out?" He asked, still looking at the alien with pink streaks running through her hair.

"Nothing, she doesn't want to talk to me." Isabel sighed again and looked at her watch. Her eyes softened and pleaded without words. _She's tired, she wants to go home_.

"Go, I can handle it here." She looked at him with concern. "I said I can handle it. Go home, wait for Max." it wasn't a command; it was what she wanted to hear. She nodded and glanced one last time between the pink haired girl and the darkened back room. Then she turned and left him standing in the middle of the Crashdown with only his thoughts to keep him company.

"Hey…" he addressed the other alien and waited for her to look at him. "We're not the bad guys here. We're not them." that was all he needed to say. He knew she would still be there, but he had to get back to Liz. She was still in the back and for a moment he swore that he could taste power in the back of his throat. He turned quickly and opened the door of the portal to the eternal land of pain. _That is Liz's domain now; she's the queen of her own misery now_.

She looked up at him and for the first time since she made the transition between human and alien, he saw someone looking back at him. Only, it wasn't the girl he had left a few minutes ago.

"I don't want this." Her voice was so quiet and drenched with pain that it didn't even sound like the same girl. He tilted his head a little and scratched his eyebrow.

"What?" she looked down at her hands and saw that they were beginning to glow, slightly, but in the darkness, it was there. He stared at it, mesmerized. His feet were moving before his head knew why. He wanted to get closer to her, to feel her power grow.

"This..." she looked down at her hands. Her face was bathed in the warm yellow glow and she was humming like only one of their kind could hear. "I don't even know what I am anymore." He took another step closer to her, but as soon as he got close to her, the light disappeared and they were once again left in the darkness.

"Liz, this is not what you are. You're human; nothing can take that away from you. You have parents, you have a home; you have this." He heard her break. He could feel the shift in the room, the way her breath caught in her throat, the way her quiet sobs overtook her. He could taste the salty tears that he was sure were streaming down her face. _I had years to come to terms with the fact that I would never be home, but everything she has ever known has just been taken away._ There was no reason, there was no bad guy, there was no one to hate.

"I think I'd like to be alone now." He didn't argue; there was no reason to.

"Sure." He never let a streak of emotion into his voice. That wasn't who he was. He wasn't the comforting guy. He was the soldier, he was the warrior. He made the decisions that no one else could, that no one else wanted to. He was the one who had to make the sacrifices so that his family would be safe. He turned in the blackness and made his way back to the portal to the Crashdown, back to his alien life, back to Max and Ava, back to all the problems that he was going to have to fix. He sighed and pushed past the diamond window and blinked in the light.

"She gonna be okay?" Ava asked from the booth, still sitting. It was like she was waiting for something.

"I don't know." He shrugged as he walked over to her. "I know you're not the enemy." She opened her mouth; it looked like she was going to say something but changed her mind. She just let out an exhausted sigh. "Come on, you can crash at my place." He turned as soon as he had said it. He didn't wait to see if she was going to follow him, he knew she would. Maybe it was because his Dupe made it a habit of controlling her, or maybe it was because she understood that Liz needed some time alone; but he knew he wouldn't have to ask again.


	2. History Lesson

**Title:** Metamorphosis  
**Author:** Winter Ashby _(rosweldrmr)_  
**Disclaimer:** Roswell © Jason Katims _(**If**... Roswell was mine. **Then**... Polar would be canon!)_**  
Rating: **T**  
Summary: **Liz has to cope with the changes she's going through. She is lost in a world she can't escape and the only one who can help her now is Michael. What will he do? How will he save her? What will happen to Liz? POLAR (Michael & Liz)  
**Timeline**: Post '_Max in the City_'.  
**Authors Notes: **I sincerly appologize for Ava. But don't blame me, blame the creators of Roswell who just had to give her a ghetto, weird slang, New York accent. I really did try to give an explanation for everything the writers ignored, but there was alot. Hopefully, the 'suedo-science' of my AU world will make a little more sense than the real Roswell explaination (just ignoring it). That is all. Onward with the fic... **  
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**Chapter Two: History Lesson**

Michael was surprised to see that Ava was up and making breakfast when he finally emerged from his room. _Just because I offered her a place to sleep doesn't mean I'm gonna give up my bed to some stranger_. She was quiet, he noted as he lay awake in the morning sun in his room. He tried to imagine that everything was still the same, that he was not connected to anyone; that he would always be looking in from the outside – but he knew that time was over now.

"Hey." He gave a scruffy reply on his way to the bathroom. When he came back out into the living room, Ava was sitting at the counter, waiting for him.

"We need to talk." She pushed a plate of bacon and eggs over to him. He looked at her, maybe for the first time since she'd shown up here, and saw that she really wasn't anything like Tess.

"Shoot." He sat and waited for her to say what she had to say.

"Liz." her New York accent was thick, it almost sounded like she was saying someone else's name. _She can't be talking about the same girl I know_, just the way she said it – he knew that Liz was never going to be the same, not to him, not to any of them.

"Yeah?" he wasn't sure what she was waiting for.

"She's strong." She looked down at her hands as they rested on the countertop. "She won't never be the same, yo. But she ain't gonna be like us neither. Me and you, we mixes you know, we got like alien and human DNA being held together. But what's happen' to her, yo, since the moment your homeboy, Maxie, laid his hands on her – she's been changing. Alien DNA is freckin' like a god damn cancer, you feel me?" she paused to make sure than Michael was really listening to her. He nodded his head and tried not to let the horrible feeling of guilt and responsibility seep into his facial features. "She ain't gonna be human no more, nothing holding her back. She's gonna have more power than we ever will. Got me? It ain't gonna be pretty tho, but she's strong. She's gonna make it – and you got to help her, yo." At that, his face slipped and he showed the first bit of emotion that he had been holding in.

"What does that mean?" it was anger that was most clear on his voice, but there was the distinct flavour of something else. Shock, awe, acceptance, happiness – maybe.

"Chill, chill, duke. I ain't messin' with ya, cool?" she took another bite of her breakfast and just sat. _She's so much smaller than Tess, really._ Tess was the only one of them that had any real power; she was independent, and confident. This girl was sad, and regretful.

"Yeah. But what do you mean 'I have to help her?'" she finished chewing and started again, a little more timid this time, after his outburst.

"Yo, cornball, Liz ain't gonna wanna have no alien king up in her face everyday remindin' her of what he did. Trust me. Yo, plus she told me that she was mad crazy about him before but she ain't gonna play like that no more. She pushed duke away, get me? And 'xcuse me for being bitchy, but for real – what is up with the princess, yo. She needs to work on her human interaction skills, like now." Michael couldn't help it; he had to laugh at that. _Isabel was never very good at connection with humans._

"I can't help her, I don't… I'm not made for that." she tilted her head a little and raised an eyebrow at him, like Tess. "I'm a soldier, I fight. I don't comfort people." This time it was her turn to laugh. "What is so funny?"

"Sorry, yo, but seriously, I ain't never heard no body say they was a 'soldier' so serious." she laughed again. Michael pushed himself off the stool and stood in front of her. "No, no, I ain't felxin' on ya or nothing. I'm just saying: that's not what you are now. I know." She shrunk as she stood towering in front of her.

"Do you remember our life?" he had never considered the possibility that they would actually be able to remember what a happened in his life before. She nodded. "Tell me."

"You were the king's right hand man. You was a warrior, no doubt. Wif out you, we wouldn't have lasted so long, get me? You and Vilandra were in like this crazy arranged marriage thing, but she didn't wanna have none of it. She was hot up for a wicked bad guy – Kivhar. Yo, she's the one who let him take down the thrown! Zan was flippin' a shit after his sis betrayed him; he wasn't doing nothing to save the kingdom. You was the only one who was thinkin' straight. You saved my life, yo." She picked at her nails while she told the story. She changed the colour from black to dark red and then back to black again.

"Really?" he interrupted her. This was all sounding a little crazy to him. _There was no way this could be true_. "What about you?"

"Zan met me at a party, I was royal, yo. I loved him, we got married. The end. He didn't have no love for me or none of that shit. I just had the blood, yo. I was… appropriate." She looked away from him. She put on this show, like she was just as unaffected as he was, but there it was. He had just seen her human side.

"What did you mean before, about 'that's not who I am now?'" he leaned against the refrigerator. _I'm not sure I can trust her, let alone believe her._

"You got to remember – you ain't Rath, neither is the one in NYC. None of us are who we were back in da day. We got theses other parts – we got these human sides to. And I sure as hell can't tell you nofin bought that dude, yo. You ain't just alien, ya gotta face dat. You ain't never gonna be that duke you was, neither is your Lonnie. She's gotta know dat. Lonnie, she can't get that. She thinks she's gotta be this crazy two-faced bitch. But she ain't, you gotta tell her that." _Why was she so insistent about that?_ She got up from the counter and walked into the living room. That was the first time that he noticed the bags on the couch. She was packed, and ready to go.

"Where are you going?" he hadn't thought that she would leave them, now. She liked Liz; they didn't treat her like the others did.

"Gotta jet. Sorry, ain't personal or nothing. But Lonnie and Rath gonna be lookin' for me. And trust me, you don't need that kind of aggravation round here right now. You got bigger things on your mind." She hoisted her bag to her shoulders and headed for the door.

"Wait, what about Kyle. Max healed him too. And how can we contact you if we need you? We can protect you here." She smiled for the first time. "What about Liz."

"I'm gonna stop by, say bye to that sweetie." She stopped walking and turned to look at him. "You said that this dude…" she trailed off, trying to recall the name.

"Kyle."

"Yeah, Kyle. Zan healed him too?" Michael thought about correcting her, but decided that it wasn't worth it. He nodded. "Did he get the flashes too?"

"I'm not sure, but I don't think so. We only get the flashes if we connect." She nodded; she knew what he was talking about. _The way it felt to slip into someone's mind and just be able to feel like another person's soul was in his._

"Yo, he's gonna be fine. The problem is, with yo homeboy was dat he didn't just heal sweetie, he went inside too. Yo, he was all up in her mind, her what'da call it? ... Essence. He changed her structure and like implanted his alien junk all up on her. And now it's takin' over." seeing that she had just told him everything he needed to hear, she was determined to leave. "If you need me, get sweetie to call me. She's the only one of us that's powerful enough to get me where I'm going." She smiled a real smile. She was free. She was going to be okay, she knew how to hide, how to run. He didn't feel there was any danger in letting her leave, he just worried for Liz. _She was going to need someone_.

What she said was right, things hadn't been right with Liz and Max since she left him in the desert. Isabel was not going to be interested in helping her, and forget about Tess. He was really all she had now. Maria wasn't going to be able to deal with this. She needed someone to show her how to control her powers, how to help her deal with that looming pain and loneliness that came along with being an alien.

"Bye." Her voice brought him from his thoughts. "No worries, duke. She's gonna be okay. You gotta just like suck it up and accept dat you are all she's got now. I'm gonna swing by on my way outta town. Yo, I'll be seein' you again, no doubt." She smiled and opened the door. There was nothing else to say, nothing else he could do that was going to change her mind. "Oh, one more thing. Homegirl, Liz, she's hidin' something – you might wanna figure dat shit out." She shut the door with out giving him a chance to say anything.

"Wait, Ava…" Michael ran to the door and swung it open, but she was already gone. She probably was mind warping him. She wanted to leave, that was her right. Him, of all people, knew what it felt like to just wish that everyone would just let him go. He sighed and shut the door. He could have driven over to the Crashdown to catch her there, but he just shut the door and went back to eating breakfast.


	3. Help

**Title:** Metamorphosis  
**Author:** Winter Ashby _(rosweldrmr)_  
**Disclaimer:** Roswell © Jason Katims _(**If**... Roswell was mine. **Then**... Polar would be canon!)_**  
Rating: **T**  
Summary: **Liz has to cope with the changes she's going through. She is lost in a world she can't escape and the only one who can help her now is Michael. What will he do? How will he save her? What will happen to Liz? POLAR (Michael & Liz)  
**Timeline**: Post '_Max in the City_'.  
**Authors Notes: **Not much to say. I hope you all like it, I love reviews! Also, on a side note, this fic will revolve more around Michael and Liz... I like to ignore all the other character's. But who knows. Maybe they'll make an appearance too. **  
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**Chapter Three: Help**

Michael finally showed up, later that day at the Crashdown. He wasn't surprised to see that the diner was closed and dark – just like when he had left Liz last night. He didn't blame her for not calling him to let him know that he didn't have to come in to work. She wasn't really living in the same world as him now. She let herself drip away into a world of pain and anger, hatred for nothing and no one, pity and loss.

He went around back to the alley and tried the door. He knew it would be locked, but he checked anyway. When the handle didn't give way, he used his powers to unlock it and let himself it.

She was still sitting on the couch, crying, in the dark. It looked like no time had passed in her world. She was exactly the same as when he last saw her. "Liz?" he whispered softly and waited for a response that was never going to come. "Did you see Ava?" at the sound of the young woman's name, he saw Liz shrink. _It's bad enough that she was going through this, but right now she probably fells all alone._

"Listen…" he began as he scratched his eyebrow and shut the back door. "…I just wanted you to know that, um, you're…" _Come one, pull it together. The one time that it actually counts, the one time that you wish you had a fully developed human side._ She had said it, he was half – he wasn't an alien, not like Liz was becoming now. He could do this, he had to. "… look I just wanted to tell you that you're not alone. Even though you feel like you are, you're not. You have Maria, you have all of us." He stopped again. It just felt so unnatural for him to try and comfort this tiny, broken woman. He remembered what Ava said, she needed him now. "You have me." he didn't stutter, there was no trace of fake promises or guilt. It was just genuine.

For the first time since he had started talking, she looked up at him. He almost stumbled back. Even in the dark, he could see it, as clear as day light – emptiness. She was hollow, there was nothing left of the girl he had known, the girl that he had trusted, protected, hurt. That girl, Liz Parker – she was dead. She would never exist again. But there was something else in her eyes. There was a distinct impression of hope.

It was such a simple emotion, so human, so definitely not him. And it struck him, almost harder than anything else ever had – he was the one responsible for her hope. He was really starting to accept what Ava told him earlier about not being the person he was before. He wasn't even sure who half of him was, maybe he was a good man. Maybe he was in love; maybe he had kids and lived in Australia or something.

"Have you even moved since last night?" she bit her bottom lip and slowly shook her head. "How about I fix you something to eat?" it might have just been the light flickering in from the sun outside through the diamond window, but he thought he might have actually seen a curl at the corner of her lips as she nodded slightly. But even if it was real, which it might not have been, it only lasted a fraction of a second. Then all speculation of it was gone, washed away in the wake of her immense pain.

He turned toward the kitchen to start the grill. "Michael?" her voice was so quiet, so small, that he wasn't sure if he actually heard it. He turned back to face her only to find that she wasn't sitting anymore, she was standing in front of him. She didn't look too stable, like she might fall over any second.

"Yeah, Liz?" he asked from here he stood. It was strange; there was something inside of him that said he should go to her. Part of him was screaming to wrap his arm around her and take her up the stairs to her bed. But there was another part of him, a stronger part that was scared to touch her. He wasn't even sure why, but it kept him from helping her now.

"Why…" she started to ask him a question, only to find that she didn't have as much strength as she thought. Her knees bent and she went crashing to the floor.

"Liz!" Michael was moving before the voice in his head could tell him not to. He dropped to his knees and caught her before her head smashed onto the floor. He turned her so that she was looking up at him and pulled her closer to him.

"I'm never going to be home again." her eyes started to water, and all he could do was hold her in his arms and watch her cry. He wanted to put her on the couch and walk out of the back door. That's what he should have done, that's what he would have done last week. _So what's changed now? _

Instead he stood up, still cradling her in his arms and made his way for the stairs. She was so weak, so tiny, and so helpless in his arms. _How could this girl have saved my ass so many times? _She didn't say anything else; she just clenched his shirt in her petite fists and cried into his chest. When his foot touched the first stair, he heard her speaking into his shirt. She was frantic, whimpering, shaking.

"No, no! I can't. I don't live there anymore. I don't live there anymore. Not here! I don't live here. I can't. Please, don't make me. Anywhere but here, anywhere but here!" she was hysterical, crying. She didn't want to be in her own house anymore. She was an outcast, a stranger, she didn't belong here anymore. At least that's the way that she saw it.

"Shhh. It's okay. Okay, not here." He tried to stay calm, but he had no idea what he was doing. All he wanted to do was put her back on the couch and leave. _Where can I take her?_ His eyes scanned the diner, trying to think of something. She couldn't stay here. Her parents would be home soon and if they came into an empty, dark diner to find their daughter comatose it wouldn't be good. There would be doctors, and test, and white rooms. He wasn't going to let that happen. But it wasn't like she was in any condition to put her on his bike and drive her to Maria's.

She started to shake more; she was crying and begging him to take her away. "Not here. I can't stay here. I'm not home. I'll never be home!" he started to spin in small circles. He told her he was going to be there for her, and for the first time, this strong, independent girl was asking for his help and he didn't know what to do. He glanced over into the kitchen when something caught his eye. It was the spatula that he used in the kitchen. Then he knew what he had to do.

"Okay. Listen to me now. I need you to listen to me." He knew what he had to do now, but he wasn't sure that he had enough power to pull it off. But he knew that if he didn't try, if he didn't do something soon, then she was going to be lost in this world where time stood still. When he looked down at her, in his arms, he could see the desperation starting to take over. And the thought of someone like her letting herself become that kind of person was not an option. She would do it for him. She stopped crying and looked up at him. "Okay, I need you to help me now. Do you understand? I need your help."

"Help?" her dark brown eyes looked up at him in the dark. She was straining to hold on to the kind of person she used to be. It was the only thing he could do to save her from that now. He was going to have to show her how to save herself.

"Yes, your help. I need you to help me." He stopped moving and just looked at her. She was one of them, an alien. He was still getting used to that idea. She had more power than he or Isabel did now. And he was going to need that to get them out of here.


	4. New Powers

**Title:** Metamorphosis  
**Author:** Winter Ashby _(rosweldrmr)_  
**Disclaimer:** Roswell © Jason Katims _(**If**... Roswell was mine. **Then**... Polar would be canon!)_**  
Rating: **T**  
Summary: **Liz has to cope with the changes she's going through. She is lost in a world she can't escape and the only one who can help her now is Michael. What will he do? How will he save her? What will happen to Liz? POLAR (Michael & Liz)  
**Timeline**: Post '_Max in the City_'.  
**Authors Notes: **More to come soon. But just as a side note, this is not an uberlong fic, and because of that I will most likely be focusing on Michael and Liz and not too much on anyone else. Sorry for anyone who was waiting for a huge group Polar fic.

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**Chapter Four: New Powers**

One night he stayed late to clean up. He didn't feel like walking to the front to the counter to get the spatula. He left it out there when he went to talk to Maria about something that ended up in a fight. So he decided he'd try something new. He closed his eyes and concentrated on breaking it into tiny molecules and passing it through space. Then he tried to reassemble it next to the sink. At first he had some problems getting it to reassemble correctly, but he had been working on it for a while. He was pretty sure that he could do it now.

"Okay." Her voice was quiet but it brought him out of his thoughts. She was confused. When she looked at him, he almost felt swept up in the lost expression on her face. When she looked at him, it was like she was waiting for him to save her. As if he could fix all her problems, change her back into a human so she would never have to face this terrifying reality.

"Alright, I need you to give me your power." Her eyes opened wide, and her mouth flew open as she was about to protest. "I know you don't want to, but you can't pretend like this isn't happening. You don't want to be here right now, I can fix that, but I can't do it alone. I'm going to need your help." She was slipping back into the land of despair. "Liz?" her own name seemed to bring her out of the mounting fear that was rising in her.

"Like Tess did for Max in Copper Summit?" Michael hadn't been there that day, but Max told him about it. Tess told them that they could transfer their power if they needed to. That was exactly where Michael got his idea.

"Yes, just like that, okay?" he looked down at her and she nodded. She closed her eyes and buried her head in his chest. Then he felt it. It was a surge of electricity running through his body. He could feel her power, her energy draining through her fingers right into him. It was slow at first, just a pooling of power.

"I don't want it anymore. Take it all." She whispered and let everything she had rush out from her. It wasn't just her fingertips; it was her hair, her skin, her lips, her eyes. It came from every part of her. It was so much, so fast; he stumbled a little but regained his footing. She was sending everything she had into him. Once he felt like he had enough, he looked down at her. She was still clinging to his shirt, eyes closed.

"Hang on." He had never done this before, let alone with another person. He had no idea what it could do, but it was too late now he had made his decision and he was sticking to it. He closed his eyes and focused on collecting all of the energy in his body, in their bodies. He started to move it out from the center, his heart, to filter into every molecule of their bodies.

As he started to disconnect the pieces of his body he felt her slip into his mind. She had made a connection to him without even asking him. She was trying to hold on to him not only with her hands because by now she realized what he was going to do. But she was also determined to hold on to him through the connection. It made it easier to control the molecules of her body too, to be able to be inside it. It was like they had one body.

The world faded, piece by piece, he felt both of them disappear. There was a second of nothing, just absolutely nothing. No emotions, no bodies, no gravity, no past or history, no future, no problems. It was just nothing. Time didn't exist, space didn't exist. Then there was a howling noise. They were moving, their pieces were hurling through space. He focused on one thing: He thought of his apartment, make it to the apartment. Home, home, home, over and over again. He repeated the world in his mind. Home, home, home. Then he heard another voice in his mind, it was Liz. It was a whisper at first, but she got louder. Home, home, home.

Then he felt the setting sun on his face. He felt Liz still connected to him, but he still couldn't feel their bodies. Reconnect. He focused on her body first, trying to bring all the pieces back together. He could feel her helping him, still giving him power and showing him how she fit together. That's when he felt the first tingle of warm skin on his. He felt her arm around his neck, her body pressed against him. He could feel the floor under his feet, the smell of a woman's shampoo, vanilla. He opened his eyes and looked down at the girl in his arms. He smiled, he was a little surprised that it had actually worked and that they were both safe, in one piece, in his apartment.

Her eyes were still closed. He could feel the power drain that the reconfiguration had taken on both of them. He knew that he had mostly used what little energy she had. He was glad that she was finally able to achieve some peace. She looked better asleep. The heavy crease lines on her face and forehead from worry had smoothed and she looked, for a moment, like she always had – flawless. He was happy that she had that moment of nothingness that he had when they were teleporting. Maybe it would give her a chance to escape this for a little while.

He looked around for the first time. He was standing in his bedroom, with the bed behind him. He turned around; he could feel his strength draining with every second she was getting heavier in his arms. He knelt on the bed and carefully laid her down. For a split second, part of him just wanted to lie next to her and sleep until all the power that he had lost to the air returned to him. It would be so easy, just stay exactly where he was. Her head rested on his arm as he looked down at her; but only for a second. He told himself it was just because he was so tired, that it didn't mean anything.

Then he was up, moving slowly, quietly away from her, away from his bed, his room – out to the living room couch. He closed the door to his room with an almost silent click, but at that exact moment he felt her leave him. She still had the power to hold the connection as she slept. But as the distance grew between them, she was pulled from his mind. He missed it, but only for a second. It was nice to feel connected to someone, but he knew that he wasn't the one she should be connected to. As soon as his body made contact with the soft material of his cushioned couch he felt himself being pulled away from reality. He was sliding toward sleep. It offered sweet release from all the problems and responsibilities that waited for him on the outside.


	5. Favors

**Title:** Metamorphosis  
**Author:** Winter Ashby _(rosweldrmr)_  
**Disclaimer:** Roswell © Jason Katims _(**If**... Roswell was mine. **Then**... Polar would be canon!)_**  
Rating: **T**  
Summary: **Liz has to cope with the changes she's going through. She is lost in a world she can't escape and the only one who can help her now is Michael. What will he do? How will he save her? What will happen to Liz? POLAR (Michael & Liz)  
**Timeline**: Post '_Max in the City_'.  
**Authors Notes: **Sorry for the long wait. I hope you all will enjoy this chapter.**  
**

* * *

**Chapter Five: Favors**

When Michael woke up in the morning, he felt almost 100 percent better. As soon as he opened his eyes, he could feel the power surge through his body. The long night of sleep had redeemed him. He rolled off the couch and walked to the bathroom. On the way, he noticed a note hanging on the fridge.

"_Hey, I went to the store to get some food. Be back soon. Liz."_

He removed it from the sole magnet that Isabel had brought to him. It was just a yellow square she stole from her father's old junk in the garage. He'd never used it before; in fact he thought it was a waste of space. But for the first time, he was glad that it was there. He folded it up and put it in one of the empty drawers. He should have thrown it away, but he didn't want to. He didn't analyze it, he wasn't sure he wanted to understand what that action meant, or what he might find out about himself. He just accepted it as it was.

He took and shower and waited for her to get back. It had been a little while, and he was starting to get concerned. That's when the phone rang.

"Hello?" he answered curtly. "Hey, what's up?" his voice softened as Isabel's voice streamed in through the receiver. "Okay. Is everything okay?" he waited to hear how Max and Tess were. "They what?" pause; hear about Lonnie and Rath tormenting Tess. "Well is she okay, did they get anything out of her?" make sure their secrets were safe. "Okay, that's good. When are they getting back?" listen to her explain about buses and keeping a low profile. "Two weeks? We can't cover for them for that long." Concern, reassurance, she was confident that everything would work out okay. "Alright." Try to wrap it up, waiting for Liz. Isabel asks about her, she tried calling the Crashdown yesterday. "Oh, she's gonna be fine." Surprises, concern, shock, a hint of mocking for acting like a concerned human – she laughed. "Whatever… look" interruptions, more questions. Ava, what about her? "She left this morning." Anger, mini lecture. Breath heavy, try to block out the mother syndrome. "Look, I didn't really have a choice. She mind-warped me, okay? She didn't want to be here if Lonnie and Rath came looking for her. I don't blame her." More shock, accusations of becoming more caring. Remind him that he told her he would handle everything. "Yeah, well, I got all the answers I needed." Pause; ignore whatever she was talking about. "Look, I gotta go. I'll see you later." Click – the distinct sound of a plastic phone on a receiver.

He leaned over to turn the ringer off. He stopped himself, what if Liz tried to call him. What if she was in trouble, what if she needed him and he didn't answer. He changed his mind and left it on. Instead he made his way to the bedroom to make the bed, only to find that it was already made. That wasn't surprising. But the tiny crease in the pillow threw him off a little. He definitely wasn't used to seeing that in his bed. It was such a simple reminder that a girl had slept there, but it was effective. He heard the door open so he abandoned the thought of Liz in his bed and went out to greet her.

"Michael?" Liz's voice came from the other room. He was completely surprised to hear that she sounded exactly like she used to. There was happiness, and no trace of pain or desperation.

"Hey?" he raised the octave in his voice and lifted an eyebrow inquisitively. "You look… better." She smiled, and laughed. It was genuine. She wasn't faking it, she wasn't hiding anything. She was actually better.

"I feel better." She set the bags on the counter and spoke as she put things away. "Look I wanted to thank you for yesterday. I don't know what I would have done with out you." her eyes turned back to him. Her chocolate brown eyes were shinning in the mid-day sun. And her long brown hair fell around her face. There was a new sense of connection flowing between them.

"Hey, it was nothing. I'm just glad it worked." He smirked, reminding her of the risk he took. Looking back, maybe it wasn't the safest move he'd ever made, but everything had turned out okay. She was okay, completely better, in fact, and he had all of his strength back. And that was the last they spoke about what happened yesterday. It was obvious that she wanted to move on and put it behind her. He was in no position to argue. "Isabel called. Max and Tess will be back in two weeks. She said they have to take the buses to keep a low profile." He saw her flinch just a tiny bit, but it was there. Immediately he kicked himself for mentioning it.

But then it was like she did a complete 360. "That's good to hear. I'm glad they are going to get to spend so much more time alone together." and there it was, the first hint of a lie. She was holding back, she was hiding something. At first he just assumed that it was pain, jealously about Max getting closer to Tess. But she was the one that had pushed him away. Why?

"Really, you think so?" he proceeded carefully. He didn't want to try to push this subject too far, but what Ava told him yesterday was eating away at him.

"Yeah, definitely. It's good that he is learning to accept his destiny." She turned and put the eggs in the fridge. She was backing off; she didn't want to talk about it anymore. He decided that he wasn't going to push it too far, just one more question.

"So, you think me and Isabel belong together?" with her back still facing him she stopped moving. Slowly she spun around to face him, and spoke firmly. This was the last that she was going to say about this topic and he knew it.

"'Betrothed' isn't the same as 'young bride.'" Her face tightened momentarily, and her annoyance was clear. But then it washed away and she replaced her anger with subtle content. He nodded and took a peek into one of the bags. Tabasco sauce, he smiled but quietly hid it before she looked back. "Michael?"

She turned to see that he was stuffing his face with bread and Tabasco sauce. She laughed and he made a noise of acknowledgement with a full mouth.

"Do you think I can stay here for a little while? Maybe just until Max gets back. I can't go h… I can't go back _there_ yet." she still couldn't call it home. He would be surprised if she ever could. That's where it all happened. The shooting, the healing, the connections; it seemed like the Crashdown was a Mecca for alien actions. Eating gave him time to think about it. He didn't really want to; he liked having his own place. There would be questions, and lying to her parents. It was really an inconvenience for him.

He finished chewing and swallowed. "Um, I guess. If that's what you want." He gave her a chance to back out, to think about it and change her mind. He didn't see how she would want to stay at his dirty, small apartment. But he didn't question her decision, god know he made a lot of mistakes. It was her right, if she chose to, to mess up.

"I'm sure." She didn't even have to think about it. It was just an automatic reply, like she had already spent a while thinking about it. "Thanks, I'll take the couch. Don't worry about anything, I'm gonna take care of everything." he didn't argue. He should have offered his bed to her, but if she had spent this long thinking about it, he probably wasn't going to be able to change her mind. Instead he just stuffed his face. She laughed and kept on putting the groceries away.

He stood up from the bar stool and turned back to her after he had finished chewing. "Whenever you're ready for some answers, I'll be here." He addressed her back. She didn't turn, or respond, but he didn't really think she would. She wasn't going to be ready to hear what he had to tell her for a little while. She was probably still in denial, but she needed to know that when the time was right, he would be able to help her.


	6. Nightmares & Secrets

**Title:** Metamorphosis  
**Author:** Winter Ashby _(rosweldrmr)_  
**Disclaimer:** Roswell © Jason Katims _(**If**... Roswell was mine. **Then**... Polar would be canon!)_**  
Rating: **T**  
Summary: **Liz has to cope with the changes she's going through. She is lost in a world she can't escape and the only one who can help her now is Michael. What will he do? How will he save her? What will happen to Liz? POLAR (Michael & Liz)  
**Timeline**: Post '_Max in the City_'.  
**Authors Notes: **It's starting to get interesting... Muhahahaha**  
**

* * *

**Chapter Six: Nightmares and Secrets**

The light went out in the living room a few hours ago. He was never one for long nights of full sleep, so he lay in bed and thought about how things got this far. How was he going to explain to everyone? She assured him that she would take care of everything: he wouldn't have to lie, or change his life at all. But he knew that wasn't true, as much as he wanted it to be. Why was he being so nice to her? He told himself it was out of loyalty to Max, he would want someone to talk care of her if he couldn't be here. But she had made it pretty clear that she didn't want anything to do with him. What happened to them, they used to be like his model of what a relationship should have been.

He had listened to her lie to her parents. Going camping with Brad, who the hell was Brad? She was so good at lying, that occurred to him as odd. He didn't expect someone like her to be so comfortable with it, he kicked himself. _I wonder why?_ If it wasn't for them, she wouldn't be. She'd probably kill him for thinking it, little innocent Lizzie Parker. She would resent it, see it as an insult. But whether he wanted to admit it or not, that was one of her charms.

He was satisfied that enough time had passed since she went to sleep. He could sneak out the front door and take a ride in the desert. Slowly, he got up and walked to the door. It was slightly cracked open and he peeked out. The door creaked while he was opening it, and he hoped she hadn't heard it.

"No, don't." he heard her whisper as he began to pass by the couch. He stopped and turned to face her. "Please, there has to be another way." She was so quiet he could barely hear her. He took a step closer and saw that her eyes were still closed. He shook his head, she was sleep talking. He looked at the front door, but instead he quietly sat on the floor next to her head. What if he left and she had like a wired alien, freak out dream or something. He wouldn't be here to protect her. What if Lonnie and Rath showed up? He sighed softly; things were definitely not going to be the same, no matter how much lying she did.

He knew it was technically easy-dropping, but he choose to look at more like informed protection. "Michael." The sound of his name brought him out of his thoughts. "You can't die, not now." His heart began to race. For the first time, he wished he could dream walk. What was going on inside of her mind? He remembered a movie he saw a while ago. Maybe if he spoke to her, he might get some answers.

"Liz?" he whispered quietly, softly. He didn't want her to wake up and see him watching her sleep, listening to her talking.

"Mmm." She moaned and moved slightly. Well that certainly wasn't the response he was expecting. He had never actually heard a girl moan like that right in front of him before. Maybe this was a bad idea, maybe it wasn't a dream he really needed to be a part of. And he definitely shouldn't have ever heard that kind of noise coming from her. "Michael, is that you?" she asked, still sleeping. He wasn't sure what he was looking for, or what he was hoping to hear while she slept and spoke, but he had a feeling that whatever she was hiding was never far from her mind.

"Yes, Liz. It's me." talking to a sleeping person was more complicated than he thought. How was he supposed to know what she was thinking?

"Thank you." she smiled in her sleep. He inched closer to her, she was so quiet. He wanted to be able to hear what she was saying. He could hear her even breathing, the steady pump of her heart beat. She was under a blanket she fished out of the hall closet that he didn't even know he had. Maria or Isabel probably brought to him.

"For what?" his leg was beginning to fall asleep. He slowly, quietly started to change positions.

"The end of the world. Destiny. I had to leave him." she moved her hand and he froze. She let it slide from the couch and hang over the edge.

"I know." He wasn't sure what she was talking about, but he bet it had something to do with why she had pushed Max away. He thought about her that day in the desert when she ran away and he held Max back. Maybe that's what she was thanking him for. That couldn't be her secret.

"I didn't want to sleep with him." she whimpered. He had no idea what she was talking about now. He had heard a rumor at school that she slept with Kyle, but he just ignored it like he did all the rest of the gossip. There was no way she would do that; was there?

"Who, who did you sleep with?" he asked quietly, but with more urgency than he liked hearing in his own voice. He couldn't explain why, but he could feel anger start to build.

"No, no. You can't die. I saved you!" She whimpered again and a tear slid down her cheek. He fought back the urge to touch her, wipe the tear away, anything. "No!" she screamed. He hadn't been expecting it. He jumped to his feet and grabbed her shoulders. Her voice stopped as he touched her, and a connection opened. She could just slip into his mind without even trying. He let go and stumbled back.

_Get out, get out. Get out of my head_. He hit the side of his head and walked back into the wall. He could make it stop. He could feel her breathing, her heart beat, and he could feel her skin on his and her blood in his veins. He felt her pain, and anger. She was trying to protect something. _No, no, no._ This wasn't right. She didn't belong in his head. He tried to shake it off. With his back against the wall, he opened his eyes to look at her. Her whole body was glowing a soft yellow colour. Then there was a sudden burst of pain. He dropped to his knees and placed his hand over his stomach. It felt like… it felt like he was shot.

She was reliving it, the moment. She was dreaming about the moment that changed her. Regret. _Just let me die._ No, he knew that wasn't his thoughts, he wasn't thinking that. It was her. She wished she'd died. She didn't want to be saved. She chose death over living as one of them. The pain stopped and he felt like he could breathe again. He tasted salt in his mouth and felt tears sliding down his face. She had so much power over him, who knew what she was seeing from him. This wasn't good.

He wanted her out, he wanted to get away. He felt like the walls of his apartment were closing in all around him. He had to get out, but his legs didn't work. He tried to say her name, wake her up – tell her to get out of his head. But he had no voice, he was helpless. Instead he crawled to his room and pulled himself into bed. His hands began to glow with power as she drained it from him. He could see the trails of energy that were flying from him out to her and all he could do was lay there and try to breathe.

He felt a sweeping blackness begin to over take him. The room, his bed, the apartment was fading. He was losing so much energy and all he could do was wait. She didn't know she had the power, she didn't even know she was doing it to him. But she was in pain, which meant he was also in pain. As he tasted tears on his face again, he was ready to let sleep take him. He did not enjoying being in this situation, and he was going to make sure that it didn't happen again.

**  
**


	7. Dreaming?

**Title:** Metamorphosis  
**Author:** Winter Ashby _(rosweldrmr)_  
**Disclaimer:** Roswell © Jason Katims _(**If**... Roswell was mine. **Then**... Polar would be canon!)_**  
Rating: **T**  
Summary: **Liz has to cope with the changes she's going through. She is lost in a world she can't escape and the only one who can help her now is Michael. What will he do? How will he save her? What will happen to Liz? POLAR (Michael & Liz)  
**Timeline**: Post '_Max in the City_'.  
**Authors Notes: **Just more Polar goodness for those Roswellians out there that like it. More to come soon.

* * *

**Chapter Seven: Dreaming?**

Michael was dreaming. He knew he was dreaming. He could feel the sun on his face and his bed under his side, but this was a dream. Shortly after he had fallen unconscious from all the power Liz drained from him, the dream started. Liz teleported into his bed. She sighed and scooted over to let him hold her. He knew that he should push her away, or move, or kiss her, do something – but it was his dream. He often had these kinds of dreams where he could tell that he was a dream and sometimes he could control it. But in this case, he just knew that it wasn't real. He told himself that if he had any control he would not have pulled her closer to him and cupped his body around hers.

She smelled sweet, like summer. And she was soft. He ran his fingers over the bare skin on her arms and grinned as she moaned. As she did, he felt it through every part of his body. He pulled her closer, trying to make sure that every piece of his body was touching her. She was so small that he swallowed her up in his arms and nuzzled his face into the curve of her neck. He had never had this kind of dream before. Sure he had dreamt of Liz. Especially in the beginning, after he had returned her journal.

Sometimes he was in the Crashdown when she was shot alone, and he was the one who saved her. Sometimes he just dreamt about what she would taste like, or what his name would sound like as she screamed at her climax with him inside her. But those were rare. And since last year when he heard his destiny and she walked away from Max, and all of them, he hadn't dreamt of her at all. But this was strange because all he did was sleep. Usually people don't dream about sleeping, he told himself. Somewhere, back in the real world, he could hear rustling. Liz was awake and moving around in the apartment.

Slowly, he forced himself to admit that he had to wake up now. It was a school day. He loved having the afternoon shift, it made waking up so much easier, but he still hated going. He reached his hand over to the sleeping girl in his arms and ran his it over her face and just looked at her. She really was beautiful. She had this long, silky brown hair and rich brown eyes. Even though she lived in the desert, her skin was soft and cool. She was just classically beautiful.

She had a scar above her left eye brow; he lightly touched it before tracing the arch of her brow. Then he moved his hand down over her nose to her lips. They were soft and warm, he ran his finger over her lower lip and she parted them. She breathed more heavily then. That's when he realized that in his dream, they were still connected. He could feel her gentle breathing and her heart rate speed up as he touched her.

He wanted to touch every part of her that he could. He rested his hand on her shoulder and ran it all the way to her fingertips. Then he lightly traced the sliver of exposed skin between her tiny tank top and shorts. Finally, he moved his hands down to her thigh. He placed the palm of his hand directly on her outer thigh and began to slide it down her leg. He loved the feeling of her body reacting to his. Her blood pumping faster, the way their body's perfectly fit together. He wasn't sure if that was her thought or his – but since it was just his dream, _I guess they are both my thoughts_.

He leaned in close to her ear, supporting his weight with his right arm. "Time to wake up now." He wished he didn't have to. It felt nice to lay with a woman, and in his dreams he didn't have to feel guilty about it being Liz. That was just what his subconscious had ordered. It was probably because she was sleeping in the next room and she had formed that crazy connection last night that knocked him out.

As he remembered that, he resigned himself to wake up. He opened his eyes and slowly let the room come into focus. He was looking up at the ceiling and part of him didn't want to roll over to see the empty space next to him. But then he felt it, a gentle, rhythmic rising and falling of someone's back pressed against his stomach. He pulled away with a sudden jerk and looked down.

"What the…!" he screamed and jumped out of the bed. He stared wide-eyed and Liz who by now was sitting straight up in bed with a horrified look on her face. Then he felt it, the shove from her mind. She was kicking him out, finally – ending the connection she had started last night.

"How did I…?" she trailed off as she pulled the blanket around her, self-consciously. She was wearing a tank top and one of the smallest pairs of cloth shorts he had ever seen. He turned around and ran his fingers through his hair. _Get it together; it was just a dream._ He turned back around to face her again.

"You…" he emphasized her fault by pointed at her. "…teleported into my bed!" then he gestured from the living room to the bed. Her eyes glazed over with a kind of eerie recognition.

She stood up, still holding the covers and glanced back out toward the couch. "What!?"

"Yeah, and last night, you nearly killed me!" she turned back to face him and he could see that she had struck something inside of her. He could feel it, she was beginning to pull back, shrink away. He looked at her and for a second he saw her in the back room of the Crashdown again.

"How… what did I do to you?" she began to back up towards the door, her upper lip started to tremble, and he could see it in her eyes – the breaking point.

He was still fuming. She had so much power, more than he ever would have, and she had no idea how to control it. It was dangerous, she was dangerous. "You stole my power; you drained me and left me unconscious. Then sometime in the middle of the night, when I was still knocked out, you teleported into my bed!" she was still pulling away from him. She inched toward the door now, step by step, trying to escape him.

"But, it was just a dream." Her tiny voice sucked the air right out of his lungs.


	8. Secrets Revealed

**Title:** Metamorphosis  
**Author:** Winter Ashby _(rosweldrmr)_  
**Disclaimer:** Roswell © Jason Katims _(**If**... Roswell was mine. **Then**... Polar would be canon!)_**  
Rating: **T**  
Summary: **Liz has to cope with the changes she's going through. She is lost in a world she can't escape and the only one who can help her now is Michael. What will he do? How will he save her? What will happen to Liz? POLAR (Michael & Liz)  
**Timeline**: Post '_Max in the City_'.  
**Authors Notes: **I was googling myself the other day at work, because I was bored, and found a very interesting post over at RoswellFanatics dot net that I would like to share with you all. And KiaraAlexisKlay AKA Kristin, if you're reading this then thank you. I hope it's alright to repost just this bit. She wrote: _Since my main fanfic fix (FF dot net) didn't have many or even greatly written Polarist fics (with the exception of rosweldrmr) I started searching the net. _When I read this, I was like "What the..." and then fainted. I never even thought that someone would consider writing that about me. I have all these Polarist IDOLS and I stalk, and here I am, just trying to finish this fic and someone else thinks I'm worth mentioning. I found it really flattering and I just wanted to say thank you for everyone who has reviewed this and likes it. Don't worry it's almost done, and I'll always have SOMETHING roswell to play with. After all, it's my first love. :heart:

* * *

**Chapter Eight: Secrets Revealed**

"What was a dream? Tell me what you were dreaming about." Forgetting his earlier promise to protect her and be there for her. He was mad, he was furious. She had no right to invade his life, almost kill him and lie to him. He approached her tiny form in the door jam and towered over her. "Tell me." he repeated it again, slowly so she could read the threat in his eyes. The fear and absolute desolation that had held her captive almost knocked him over, but he stood his ground. _There's no way she's going to lie to me again._

"I…I can't." she began to shake with fear.

"That is not an acceptable answer!" his deep voice roared over her shrinking form. There was a twinge of guilt that was beginning to grow in his gut, but he quickly pushed past it as he glared down at her. _Tell me_. He silently commanded, as if saying it in his mind meant that she might actually do it.

"Please." her tiny, frail voice begged for mercy as she sank to the floor, tears staining her face. "Please." she repeated again, and Michael could see her reverting back to that shrouded form in the blackness from two days ago. A shadow of her laying broken in darkness clouded his vision for a second. It was like being hit by one of his own power blasts. But this time it wasn't the alien fate that haunted her. It was the outline of his towering form that passed through her eyes and made her shiver. He was now the ominous figure threading to expose all that she had worked so hard to keep hidden.

"No, Liz." he knelt in front of her, but careful not to touch her and keep his voice tight and emotionless. _What is she hiding that could possibly be this bad?_ "Don't do this." He wasn't even sure exactly what he was pleading for. But she had some kind of power over him. It was like when she looked up at him, he could feel her pleading for mercy, for a reprieve from this world. He felt compelled to be… human. Max was right, knowing her – being around her forced him to be more human, almost against his will. "I can't protect you if I don't know what's going on." He softened just the slightest bit and he saw her shoulders slump.

But this time she lifted her swollen, dark brown eyes to look at him. So full of hate, regret, anger, fear… she was a whirlwind of emotions. Even from the safe distance that he held a few feet away from her on the floor, he could feel her begin to pull him in. _It's got to be her eyes._ He told himself as he began to feel like he was drowning in her tears. It felt like every second he was around her, she was growing stronger. As she lost her humanity to the alien nature of his past, she brought out of him dormant human emotions he never asked for and never wanted.

"But I'm protecting you." it was so sincere, so painful that he just could stop himself. He leaned in and lightly brushed his hand over her tear tracks. _Stop, what are you doing?_ He chastised himself for displaying such a weak human characteristic as empathy. It was like he had no control over himself when she was around him. "I saved you." the last admission struck him as disturbingly out of place. There were some big pieces of this puzzle that he wasn't aware of. The pain she was feeling was now clearly palatable on his tongue as he tried to breathe in past the overwhelming concern she elicited from him.

He knew it was a risky move, but he had to know what was going on inside of her mind. She was becoming more of what she feared and he longed for with each breath that she took. He could feel the energy radiating off her tiny form. She was already so powerful; she would have no problem sucking him in. Part of him shuddered at the thought of being lost inside someone else for the rest of time. But the other half of him was surprisingly drawn to idea of being so connected to another life form that you cease to be yourself.

His body had made the decision while his thoughts still lingered on the concept of becoming part of her. He closed the distance between them in one, achingly slow move. He brought his lips to lightly hover above hers. If she was going to play like this, so could he. "Show me." he whispered, mentally asking her to grant him access to whatever it was that she was hiding. _Connect._ He commanded himself internally, willing himself to open up and accept the invasion of his mind and body.

She obeyed without a second of hesitation. She tilted her head up and closed the millimeter distance between them without any further thoughts. The connection was instant. Like it was there the whole time, he just couldn't see it. It was so natural to slip into her mind and wander through her thoughts. But he tried to push it away. He felt her soft lips press against his. He was faintly aware of his hands sliding up her bare arms and pulling her even closer. Her small hands also made their way to the back of his neck. He felt a shiver overtake him as her nails grazed against his skin. A deep, throaty moan was caught in his throat as he could no longer hold the connection back.

He was lost at first, bombard with images of her childhood, Max, the Crashdown. He pushed by them, like passing ships. _Show me._ He asked again from inside her mind. She had the power to control her thoughts, and what she showed to him. That was how they protected themselves against attacks from people like Lonnie and Nikolas. He saw her as a little girl, her first kiss with Kyle. He saw himself that night they'd tried to run and she confronted him. He saw Max in class, Maria and Alex laughing under a tree. _Focus. _He commanded her full attention as he desperately tried to struggle past all the flashes. He could feel her presence with him in the connection as well. Slowly she began to gain control over the images and started to lead him to what she kept hidden for long enough. He followed the sound of her voice through her mind past years of memories. He smelled peppermint, and felt grass under his feet. He felt happiness, fear, pain, longing. He tried to remain focused on where she was leading him.

It was like walking a tightrope over a timeline of her life. There were sensations, memories, emotions, and fantasies. He slowly began to recognize the setting. But that was her recognition. Her presence in the connection was soothing. He didn't feel so lost, knowing that she was also taking the same journey that he was.

They stopped as the right visions began to play in full surround sound in his mind. She showed him a future version of Max, white roses, watching Max with Tess and feeling desolate hope, yelling at Max in his bedroom about Romeo and Juliet, crying on her balcony, watching himself with Isabel in the diner and feeling pain and responsibility, Kyle laying in bed with her, he could feel the sheets on his bare skin and feel the breeze from her opened window. He felt her shame, pain, utter desolation, and then faintly hopeful dancing followed by blackness.

As the movie of her secret began to wane from his consciousness he became acutely aware of yet another presence in her mind. He felt something primal, familiar. But this time it wasn't her familiarity, it was his own. There was a growing sense of something foreign to her mind, something alien. It was still laying somewhere in the distance, past the darkness that surrounded him now. But he could tell that it was fast approaching.

Then, he began to feel like someone was pushing him. He stumbled back and felt like he was falling. He opened his eyes from the floor of his bedroom and gasped for air. Liz was kneeling over him running her tiny hands over his forehead whispering something.

"Hey." He said to her quietly, drawing her out of her prayers. He tried to move, but his whole body felt like it was one big bruise. He had been thrown back with the force that expelled him from her thoughts and their connection.

Her huge brown eyes looked down at him. "Oh thank God." She whispered to the air and bent down to inspect him. He felt like a science experiment under her scrutinizing gaze. Her concern for him was etched into every line that soiled her face. He liked knowing that she worried about him, but he wasn't interested in knowing why. "Sorry, I… I didn't mean to push you so hard." she smiled, weakly and then returned to her inspection of his damages. He wasn't bleeding, and his breathing had returned to normal now.

"I'll live." He gruffly pushed past her roaming hands and darting eyes. She unnerved him to his very core. His first reaction was to push her away, put up his 'stonewall.' But there was something in her now that kept him from doing that. It was like she was trying to pull the human out of him because she was quickly losing her own. He pulled his aching form into a slouched sitting position on the carpet. Once he was settled into a position that didn't make his head spin he turned back to her. "Explain." he demanded and she sighed deeply. She took a moment to look past him to the window facing the rising sun.

"The Max I showed you wasn't our Max. He's from fourteen years in the future. He came back in time, using the granolith to get me to change the future." Her voice wasn't small anymore. She was bitter, angry. It sounded like she had rehearsed this, it was like she had practiced saying it so many times to herself that now it was just a speech she'd memorized.

"So that's how you knew about the granolith." He commented quietly as she nodded in admission. She had been hiding this for longer than he expected. _This must be what Ava was talking about_.

"I thought he was a shape shifter, but he knew things that were going to happen and I knew a shape shifter couldn't do that. He looked like Max, but he was older, more worn. His eyes were darker, like he'd seen things that changed part of him. He wasn't like Max is now. There was a deep sadness that weighed him down." She slumped back against the door as she recalled the memory of his eyes.

In that instant Michael understood the beginning of the images she'd shown to him only second before. He pushed aside the aching and instead focused on Max's eyes in her visions. "Yeah." He commented softly as the pain struck him again.

She looked up at him and sighed. "He told me that once he and I… got back together, we were inseparable. Tess left because of the way he treated her so when your enemies came to earth you all weren't strong enough. Isabel died a few weeks before he came back, and you…" she stopped for a moment. Her voice was so distance, like she was narrating someone else's life.

He felt his body begin to pull him closer to her. He felt his hands begin to itch, like if he didn't touch her, he'd blow something up. He felt like he had to comfort her – she was making him. But that didn't change the fact that he was still Michael and he had no idea how he was supposed to comfort someone. Especially when that person was Liz, so he fought it and settled for readjusting his position.

After a paused moment of shaky breathing, she continued. "…you died in his arms just moments before he came back." She shuddered as he once again felt the sudden and overpowering urge to take her into his arms and protect her. "So… he asked me to find a way to get Max to fall out of love with me. I tried to get him and Tess together; I tried to tell him that I didn't want to die for him. But it didn't work."

"That's why you were pushing him away." he commented quietly as thought about what that meant. There was so much hiding in this small girl's mind. How could so much of his world, his life, his future depend on someone so… tiny? _This isn't fair. It's not right to ask so much of her._ He felt the sudden urge to smack Max the next time he saw him. How could he ask so much of her? The guy she's in love with comes back in time and asks her to sacrifice everything she has left for the sake of the world. _Bad deal_.

"So…" the sound of her gentle voice brought him out of his thoughts and back to what she was telling him. "I asked Kyle to help me pretend that we slept together. I knew that Max would come that night because that was the night that we were supposed to…" she trailed off.

"Oh." Michael let the surprise coat his word. It wasn't normal for him to let someone know what he was feeling by his tone, but that realization struck him. He felt jealous, but he immediate shoved it aside and told himself it was nothing. He just couldn't believe that she and Max were going to… "Oh." This time it was recognition of all that's she'd given up. His tone dropped, as he bathed in the immense pain that was washing off her in waves.

"Then, he just disappeared." She looked away, not wanted to let the inevitable tears taint her face yet again. "God, I'm so sick of crying. I don't want this anymore. I never asked for this! I gave up everything I had to protect you, and still I'm being punished." The strong will in her voice and the poignant anger made him reevaluate his previous assessment of her stature. Because from that point on the floor under her strong gaze, he felt ten times smaller than she was. She was so much stronger than he gave her credit for.

"So this is what you were dreaming about?" he asked from his miniature spot under her anger. He started to feel her power pooling in the air around them. She was angry, and it was starting to show. It felt like there was electricity in the air.

"Yeah. It kind of haunts me, you know?" by now the aching feeling had gone and he was left with the weighing feeling of guilt. She has suffered so much because of what he was, and yet she still protected them. _I guess we have more in common that I thought._ And as soon as it had started, her power was gone again; absorbed back into her body again.

"Sure." He lifted himself up to lean against the wall and watched as she grew in front of him. She wasn't just some frail, weakling anymore. After more than a year of living in fear she was finally beginning to become whole again. It was amazing to think that even after all she'd been through; she was still capable of pulling herself together again.

"Michael." Her voice brought him out of his thoughts and back to focus on her standing form beyond his regrets and pity. "I'm ready to hear what Ava told you."


	9. Denial

**Title:** Metamorphosis  
**Author:** Winter Ashby _(rosweldrmr)_  
**Disclaimer:** Roswell © Jason Katims _(**If**... Roswell was mine. **Then**... Polar would be canon!)_**  
Rating: **T**  
Summary: **Liz has to cope with the changes she's going through. She is lost in a world she can't escape and the only one who can help her now is Michael. What will he do? How will he save her? What will happen to Liz? POLAR (Michael & Liz)  
**Timeline**: Post '_Max in the City_'.  
**Authors Notes: **I know it's taken a while to update this, but I've been tweaking and reworking this chapter for a long time. I don't know if I'm happy with it, but at least I've decided to post it as it is. Sorry for taking so long. And... finally so more action! Giggity giggity gig-gi-ty.

* * *

**Chapter Nine: Denial**

It had been a week since Michael found out what Liz was hiding and told her what her fate was. He silently watched her as she willed herself not to cry for the destiny that was once again forced onto her. He held her at night when she wasn't strong enough to pretend like she was being ripped apart anymore. He began to train her on how to control her powers, like making involuntary connections and draining people of their energy. At night he secretly craved to taste her lips again. And in the mornings, when she was inevitable lying with him in bed, he remained quiet, simply opting to get up and say nothing.

He said nothing as she became less human with each passing day. He watched her suffer as the green lightning bolts covered her body as she was finally consumed with power. He drove her to the desert on the back of his bike that night and watched as she released her powers in a dry lightning storm the likes of which Roswell had never seen before.

He alone was there when her eyes turned to the darkest black he'd ever seen. And it was him who held her tightly and begged her to be strong. He was the only one who felt the pain of watching her fade away. He cried like a little boy and begged a God he wasn't even sure existed to save her. It was his fears that coated the walls of his apartment in the middle of the night as he held her and lost hope. It was his tears on her skin that brought her back to the surface. It was his voice and his face that she saw in the middle of the black power in her mind. He silently thanked God when she opened her eyes, and for the first time after her alien side had taken over, they were once again, brown. He was the one she thanked through grateful tears when she admitted that it was his voice that brought her back again. He was the one who wouldn't let herself lose her human side. He laughed when she told him that he made her human.

He watched her in the diner and pretended like he didn't notice when her smile brightened when she caught him looking. He played dumb when she discovered her note folded in the kitchen drawer and nonchalantly removed it to put it in his dresser instead. He ignored when Isabel accused him of helping Liz hide and blew off Maria every night. He told himself that when he got up every night to check on Liz, it wasn't just to spend a few minutes watching her sleep peacefully.

It was surprising to him how well they fit together. Their routine was down to a perfect ballet of interchangeable movements and thoughts. Their connection grew stronger everyday. It got to the point where all they had to do was lock eyes across a room and they would be connected instantly. And just like always, he was torn. Half of him wanted to run, wanted to kick her out and make her leave. He didn't want to feel the growing reminder of his flawed human side that she brought out in him. But then the other half of him loved the connections. And it was that side of him that taunted him, and told him that the never felt more alive than when they were thinking as one person.

He stood in the kitchen after they'd gotten home from work. Her parents thought she was staying at Maria's while Maria was dealing with breaking up with him. Maria thought she was staying at Isabel's while she learned about her new alien powers. Isabel knew she was at Michael's but agreed not to say anything. She was in the shower while he checked through the refrigerator, trying to find something to make for dinner.

"Parker, where's the tobacco sauce?" he yelled from the kitchen toward the bathroom. The sound of the shower running sent chills running the length of his spine. _It's nothing. I just don't want her to use all the hot water like she always does._ His self-induced denial was becoming almost a complex. He closed the fridge and leaned against the counter.

"I put it in the freezer." She yelled back from the misted room at the end of the hall. He uncrossed his arms and sighed heavily.

"Why?" he responded as he retrieved it from the freezer and made his way to the bathroom. He stood next to the door, leaning on the wall listening to the running water. He closed his eyes and the image of her standing under the running water passed through his mind. His eyes shot open and chose to ignore that blatant lapse in judgment.

"Because I like really cold." She yelled again from the shower. A small smile spread across his lips as he thought about the dramatic change having powers had on her whole life.

"Why don't you just use your powers?" he called through the door with disinterested enthusiasm. He listened as the squeaky handles on the faucet turned and the water stopped.

"What?" she called as the sound of the plastic rings running over the metal shower curtain rod filled his ears.

"I said why don't you just use your powers?" there was a slight pause as he imagined her wrapping a soft green town around herself. He quickly shook that thought away as the door opened.

"Because…" she started as she opened the door. Revealing Michael standing right in front of her. She jumped a little but smiled warmly. "… I didn't want to." She was dripping wet, water droplets still running down her face and the exposed skin on her arms. Michael could feel his whole body begin to vibrate with energy. He could feel the crackle of power running through his palms. Quickly he took a step back from her and breathed deeply. Being so close to her, smelling her fresh shampoo and feeling the heat rising off her body made him intoxicated. He couldn't think being that close to her.

"Oh…. Um, okay." He stumbled back and headed for the kitchen, away from her and all the problems she'd brought with her.

"What happened?" she asked from behind him, still standing in the hall. He could feel the trickle of power beginning to flow off her toward him. He turned suddenly but careful not to make eye contact as he recognized the telltale signs of the beginnings of a connection.

"Stop!" he shouted. _Not now, not now._ He made a silent plea for a small miracle. She flinched as his deep, angry voice reached her unwarranted. He couldn't deal with her being so near to him, so close to naked, and so completely inside of his mind and body.

"I didn't do anything, Michael!" she retaliated with just as much anger as he so freely lavished her with. "Jesus, you feel a microbe of power and you freak out. It's not like I meant to release it. You walk around here all day leaking energy. Get a grip!" she stormed away to the bedroom and slammed the door.

"Well if you learned how to control you god damn powers, then I wouldn't have to worry about it. You're dangerous Parker!" Michael was never one to concede easily in a fight. Particularly when he knew he was wrong, the words just seemed to flow out of his mouth without any effort. _Just let it go._

"If I'm dangerous… it's only… because… you're so paranoid… that I'll connect with you…. What… are you… so scared of… anyway?" she screamed past the locked door. Michael could hear the pause between words as she dressed.

"I'm not scared of anything!" he rumbled past the door. It was a lie, and he knew it. He was terrified of her – inside his mind. He knew that he couldn't pretend that things hadn't changed anymore. And he was trapped.

The door yanked open and stood, fuming and glorious. "You don't fool me, Michael Guerin!" She shoved past him towards the kitchen. He was careful to avoid contact, it would be impossible to hide what he was feeling now, if she made a connection. She spun on her heel and pinned him with a look he didn't dare turn from. It was dangerous. She was dangerous. "What is it you're hiding, Michael?"

It was almost his own words echoed from her lips, and he could feel the connection trying to form. "Nothing!" He couldn't run, there was no where to go. So he fell back on the one thing that always managed to work in the past. "If you don't like my accommodations, then you can just get out!" His eyes blazed and his hands balled into fits. He could feel his own power begin to crackle.

"That won't work on me, Michael!" She didn't step back. He didn't scare her. He'd lost the only power he had left. She was absorbing him, piece by piece. And soon, there would be nothing left of him. Nothing but her. "What's wrong!?"

She stood in the hall, fuming, as he was. He was desperate to be free of her. He was clawing at his own skin to escape. Because he knew she was begging for the one thing he'd vowed never to give. The truth. "You really want to know what's bothering me?" He considered giving in.

But the way she looked at him made his insides curdle. He couldn't deny her that one, simple thing. It wasn't so hard, after all. All he had to do was open his mouth and tell her. "Yes! I think you owe me that much!"

_Tell her, you idiot!_ His own mind betrayed him and he admitted defeat. Michael was still strong, though. Strong enough to at least let him shatter their tentative truce by his own admission rather than have her pry it from his mind. "Fine, have it your way." He took three long strides and towered over her.

He fought to keep control over his power and the connection that was trying to form. But he pushed it back and stared down at her. She didn't back away, and all he could do to stop himself from leaning in and tasting her again was his hands running down his face.

"It's you! You're what's wrong." He could see her eyes widen but he didn't wait for a response. He knew if he didn't get it all out at once, he'd never say it. "The kiss haunts me. I can't stop thinking about it. I can still feel your lips and your skin. You're everywhere." He was yelling, and every inch of him was vibrating for her. But he couldn't stop now. "You're there when I wake up and when I close my eyes. I can't turn a corner without seeing you. It's like a constant reminder of what I can't have and it's killing me." He looked at her now, chancing a glimpse of what his words were doing to her. "You're killing me. You're always in my head. I can feel whenever you're around. We don't even have to try to connect anymore, it's just always there." And it was true. He had a feeling she'd already slipped in the back, quiet and stealthy. "I can't escape you – and all I think about all day, the only thing that I want to do every time I see you, or think about you – is take you in my arms and taste you again!"

He was watching her closely, for any sign of what she felt. But her eyes had taken on a darker colour than usual and a streak of pure desire ran up his spine. "Good!" She bellowed from just under his chin as she inched closer, still fierce and dangerous. "I'm glad to see I'm not the only one!"


End file.
